I keep trying to convince myself I don’t need a partner, or a love life. I’m pretty sure I’d be perfectly happy living in a house full of books with a lifetime supply of tea and no people for hundreds of miles.
Except then who would I bake cookies for?
People are weird. And scary. They want things and they take things without asking. They push and they coax and they manipulate till I can’t remember where their needs end and mine begin. I’m not always good at defining my lines or standing my ground.
People are beautiful. And creative. And gorgeously messy. They build things and make things and dream things and I want to wrap my arms around every single one of them, kiss their sweet cheeks and let them know just how perfect they are.
I need to learn. I know this. I need to learn what I want and what I don’t, how to say so, and how to enforce it. It’s scary. It makes me tired. I’m overwhelmed by the possibilities. I’m afraid of the risk. I don’t like to stand still when I’m uncertain. So much easier to stir the pot again and find a new challenge, rather than work out the one that’s in front of me. I might fail and get hurt. I might succeed and get hurt.
I think it might be worth it. Eventually. Probably. Maybe?
I don’t know.
Have a cookie.